In my day to day life as an executive coach, speaker, author, active operating participant of various business investments and of course a father and husband, I am surprised at how many times I encounter “off-centered behaviour”. What do I mean by “off-centered behaviour”? It is those situations when you are surprised by someone else’s action. The actions are off. Not logical or seem to be motivated by other hidden agendas.
I’m trained in communication. I have spent years learning how to interpret situations. Understand the situation and navigate through different forms of communication as to how we accomplish clarity and solutions to all agendas. Regardless of whether the agenda is difficult or relaxed, I have been trained on how to assemble questions, listen intensely, and probe into the topic to uncover the issues. The real heart of the issue. My training has taught me that by staying true to an approach of using candour, clarity and consistency is the approach to tackle virtually any topic, issue or conversation.
So what’s the problem you might say? If all of this training brings me to how we can handle the issues of life, then lets simply focus on the disciplines, transfer the knowledge and we can all deal with the “off cantered behaviour”. Well, I could and I might later.
The message I would really like us to concentrate on is forget about those of us who need special training to deal with “off- behaviour” lets just gently remind ourselves NOT to be “off-centered”. First off what is “off-centered behaviour”? Here are some hypothetical examples.
1. A seemingly successful business person suddenly behaves completely irrational creating chaos through conflict only to have others discover that he has got himself into some financial problems and is fearful of what to do and what might happen so he completely changes his usual actions.
2. A investment starts to go completely sideways with an investment partner after the investment group has tackled the most difficult issues and the seemingly simplest decisions start going completely off the rails. The discovery later is a personal issue that is embarrassing for the investor to bring to the table.
3. A business relationship gets very confusing very quickly with misunderstanding and errors on actions that were clearly documented as “to dos” only to discover the one of the individuals were completely preoccupied by other initiatives in their life.
4. A person in your life who is dependable, reliable and committed to what they say suddenly demonstrates completely rogue activity. Discovery materializes that external pressures from a misinformed source created confusion that resulted in obscure actions.
I could go on and on with examples of “off-centered behaviour”. The point is what’s up? What’s the real problem? It starts with ourselves. Being true to our own actions. Being accountable to the choices we make in life. If each of us takes accountability to our own behaviour we would not need special training as to how to deal with “off-centered behaviour”. Now maybe this is a pipe dream, but here is the secret. A simple three step reminder that if each if us remembered in all of our actions we would be far better off as individuals. Ready?
Want to live a more meaningful, in character, on point life? Then here are the four simple steps:
1. Show up. Have respect for yourself and others, if you say you’re going to do something, do it!
2.Pay attention… Be present and listen intensely (80/20 rule)
3. Tell the truth … Honesty is the best practice. You don’t have to have a good memory when you tell the truth…
4. And remember your not in charge anyway, there is something bigger in this universe gong on then you and I….
Life is complicated enough. Follow some simple steps to behaviour and don’t be a creator of “off centered behaviour”. Commitment to accountability with holding ourselves to consequence is the secret to the real power in life, choice.
“You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration”. James Allen.